“After yet another falling out with my old time (former) friend and companion Mr Wullie Steele concerning just ‘who’ finished off the last of the Pimm’s & Brasso and just ‘Who’ is ‘Whom’s’ figment of a warped and absinthe soaked imagination – I have decided to leave my former lodgings with Mr Steele and establish my own aether-acreage.

The ancient ancestral hame is currently being prepared for my immediate return with the drapes being cleaned, the laboratory and bar(s) being fully restocked and the ever present mouse problem being rectified (fresh delivery of a replacement pack of giant mutant racing mice expected before the start of the season – By Jove we will give those cheeky squirrels a run for their money this year!).

However – While the work is in progress I will be roughing it in my auld airship ‘The Duke O’ Dalry’ so if you happen to be passing along the streets of Auld Reekie and spot me and the Duke above… Remember to wave and give us a big Cheer’o.. And if you don’t spot us then you had just better hope that is really rain that’s falling! …Tee Hee!”

Atticus Oldman